Thursday, February 26, 2009

Equal Time

My vent about one of my pet peeves - family researchers who drop me with no explanation - brought a response from Cousin #2, as I thought it might. I am giving her observations equal time today. This is what she said:

. I need to learn the facts before jumping to my own conclusions.
. My snide remarks are uncalled for.
. I am full of it if I think she doesn't have good records.
If her records aren't good, it is because she has been given misinformation.
. Who do I think I am?
. She is sorry that I have my panties in a bind.
. I am barking up the wrong tree.
. I am trying to make a mountain out of a molehill.
. She didn't like the tone of my e-mails. In fact, she was shocked.
. Her cousin had the DNA done and she doesn't know anything about it.
. Her cousin is ill and is hospitalized.

I have responded to her personally and politely concerning her observations. Sadly, if she had given me those last two facts she believes I should have somehow learned, I would not have written last week's blog. Apparently, she didn't like my asking, point blank, why they were reluctant to discuss the DNA subject they had brought up so she stopped writing.

It is really too bad that an opportunity for a good exchange of information has been lost. It happens a lot when one party suddenly stops communicating with no explanation. And, although I did finally get a response as a result of what I wrote last time, I am still puzzled by this entire situation. It would have been much better for all of us if we had simply answered each other's questions in good faith and agreed to disagree, if necessary. We would, undoubtedly, have learned things we didn't know about mutual ancestors. Instead, we ended up in an Internet situation reminiscent of the Hatfields and McCoys, taking pot shots at each other. Maybe it's because we all sprang from West Virginia.


If nothing else comes of it, I hope that at least one person has learned to not leave people hanging on future correspondence that she initiates. I wish her well as she continues her search for her family's history.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Family History Research Has Its Fakers



Those of us who spend hours, days, weeks, months, and years researching our families' histories run across these fakers all too often.

Anyone who truly wants to know his or her family's history does not accept as true any information that cannot be documented. It isn't enough to find glowing reports of famous ancestors on the Internet with entire family trees flung out for all to see and claim them as one's own. Being published in a book does not make anything true unless the author has sources. Information such as this is only a place to start.

The Internet, especially, has made genealogy research much easier. There are records on-line that formerly required lengthy correspondence and visits to county courthouses, history centers, graveyards, libraries, archives, and state capitols. The Internet also makes it possible to compare one's DNA to others who have agreed to such comparisons. Such records are valid and conclusive.

On the other hand, all too many so-called researchers are willing to throw a bunch of names onto a family tree with very little documentation and publish it on the Internet as gospel. These people contact you with statements and then disappear into the woodwork when you confuse them with facts. After you've spent your time responding to them, you never hear from them again. All you have is their e-mail address and every polite inquiry is met with stony silence.

I ran across two cousins who fall into this category a week or so ago. I received an e-mail that stated a male cousin's DNA matches that of my husband and asked what I thought about that. Since Carl's male ancestry has been impossible to prove conclusively due to a loss of records when a courthouse burned in the early 1900s, you can imagine how exciting this was. I immediately sent documentation of what we know and asked some pertinent questions. The response said, "Holy Cow, what a lot of information," but didn't answer any of my questions. I politely inquired again and got another inane reply with no answers. I asked when it would be convenient to call. No answer.

Then Cousin #2 responded with a supposed family tree that included a household where Carl's great-grandmother was living in 1850 (although Cousin #2 didn't know this until I told her). I sent more information and politely asked again about the DNA. I got another inane response: "Still trying to figure all this out. It's quite confusing. I'll let you know if I come up with anything." I responded with an offer to share information and point-blank asked why both women are reluctant to discuss the DNA that supposedly caused them to contact me in the first place. I pointed out that DNA is not confusing – it either matches or it doesn't. Silence. I wrote again to Cousin #1. Silence. On Sunday I left a message on the cell phone Cousin #1 supplied early on. No response. Neither person seems the least bit interested in the treasure trove of documented information I have about their so-called family – information that any serious researcher would never let get away.

So here I sit, wondering why in the world anyone would contact me and then decide to not talk to me about the very subject they brought up. Meanwhile, there are no such DNA matches on any of the collaborating Internet sites. I can only conclude that these two people sent out incorrect information and now don't have the common courtesy to say they made a mistake. At best, they are inexcusably rude and their family tree is a fake.

I have done them the favor of sending them the link to this blog in the hope they will learn something about what constitutes both good manners and valid research. I am not holding my breath.

P.S. Above is the back of a postcard sent by my great-uncle, Orlin Burns, during World War I. It documents that he was in the Army, his rank, and where he was on a particular day. I don't know who Mike and Emma were but you can bet I won't be filling in those blanks with guesses.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Little Girls













SUGAR AND SPICE AND EVERYTHING NICE,
THAT'S WHAT LITTLE GIRLS ARE MADE OF.

The little girls I know come in all sizes, shapes, and colors but they have one thing in common. This little rhyme applies to all of them.

There is my niece, Laikyn Lovas, who is very grown up for her age. Laikyn will be eleven years old soon. She lives in Ohio and she always takes time to write nice thank-you notes for the Christmas gifts I send to her and her little brother. I have a whole collection of them. I wish I could see her more often.

Then there is Marie Stanford who lives next door. Marie is seven. She and I share a love of art. Marie sends me little cards and letters and she draws pictures for me. She brought me a special Valentine last week. She and I are thinking about when to schedule our next art session.

Maymuna Shawkat lives on the other side of Marie. Maymuna is also seven. She first came to my house when Marie and I were packaging up Marie's secret Christmas gift project. Maymuna appeared at my door a few days later with a book she wrote. I am now the proud owner of "A Day At The Beach" by Maymuna Shawkat, illustrated by Maymuna Shawkat.

These three little girl friends are very special to me. As we say in the South, "Their mamas are raising them right."

I am also blessed to have many big girl friends. I'm sure they started out just like Laikyn, Marie, and Maymuna - sugar and spice and everything nice. They still have it all.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

So You Think We've Had Winter In Georgia



While riding to the Southeastern Pastel Society meeting yesterday evening, one of my friends remarked that she can't stand winter and will be glad when it's over. It was 70 degrees outside and the sun was shining. Granted, we'd had a week or two of colder temperatures – in the teens with a cutting wind – but our lows are usually in the 30s with highs in the 40s and 50s. Sixty-plus degree days aren't unusual.

Meanwhile, my brother and his family recently spent three days without electricity or phone service in –0 weather with a wind chill of at least –20 degrees. They had approximately 10 inches of snow followed by several inches of ice. Their generator ran out of gas and they couldn't get out to purchase more. When the roads were finally cleared, they had to drive to the next county to find gas. My beautiful sister-in-law learned the hard way that a generator would not support a hair dryer. Their gas fireplace became their only heat source.

The above photographs came from my Ohio friend, Mary Frances Rauch. Looking at them makes me long for the utter beauty of a Northern winter. Yes, it is colder. Yes, it can be really miserable. It can even be life threatening. But having said all that, there is nothing that can compare to sunlight and moonlight sparkling on newly fallen snow and ice. It's a fairyland that almost makes your heart stop and being marooned with your family can be a really special time.

With no TV, nowhere to go, and nothing else to do, you're suddenly faced with the need to talk to each other more, read, play board games, and improvise to create meals from whatever is on hand. Keeping warm is Job 1. Getting through the emergency becomes a team effort and everyone pitches in. It's a good feeling.

I miss it.